butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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