i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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