When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
