all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
