take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.