Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books

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(607): your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books http://tfl.nu/j6cy

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband

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(703): I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband http://tfl.nu/pijn

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(703): View more from Virginia

We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

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(703): We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college. http://tfl.nu/pxwn

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(208): View more from Idaho

opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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(208): opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling http://tfl.nu/a6db

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(970): View more from Colorado

I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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(970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg

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(512): View more from Texas

what did gay clubs do before lady gaga

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(512): what did gay clubs do before lady gaga http://tfl.nu/x7iq

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

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(705): Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world. http://tfl.nu/0fm4

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(912): View more from Georgia

There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.

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(912): There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/juwj

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(951): View more from California

We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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(951): We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie. http://tfl.nu/3rqj

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(443): View more from Maryland

We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.

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(443): We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending. http://tfl.nu/khho

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.

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(403): Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good. http://tfl.nu/eqb8

Replies (10) Good night (3132) Bad night (709)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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(508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9

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(561): View more from Florida

I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

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(561): I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2nj

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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(+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q

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(941): View more from Florida

Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

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(941): Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door. http://tfl.nu/cryx

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