My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
