we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
