it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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