Swine flu. Run for my life!
no, he came in my armpit
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
