Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
