How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
