the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
