; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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