Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
