I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
