4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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