I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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