I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
