Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
