Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
