ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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