I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
