I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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