so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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