i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
