we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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