uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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