Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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