What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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