where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
