I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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