im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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