There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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