We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
