Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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