How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
