Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
