When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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