The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
