I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
