thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
