i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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