The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
