Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
