I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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