loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
