dude i'm inner monologue high
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
