she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
