it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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