I heard we made out
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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