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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Maybe I should forgo underwear.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  This is a family BBQ no?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."

  (301): View more from Maryland

  That wasn't a compliment.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"

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• (713): View more from Texas

  So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.

  (936): View more from Texas

  I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know

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