I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions