I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat