we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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