it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"