I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.