i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.