your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
