oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
