I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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