make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
