Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.