How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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