I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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