We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm both gender and math confused
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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