He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
