yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
