you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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