I wish i was in the wii world.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
