i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize