He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
