Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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