I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
