Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
