oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You were trust falling into bushes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
