The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
