You can't motorboat a personality
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize