You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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